“I put off a lot of things when the kids were all here under one roof. I focused on who needed to be where at what time. I facilitated family night. I felt mostly like hiding.
I was so busy functioning just to survive that I forgot about myself. How about you? Are so fiercely trying to keep your head above water that you have forfeited being freshened?
As busy are you are; as frantic as your family seems to be, you have to create the space for firm boundaries so you can form a thought from time to time.
Jesus stole away to seek the Father’s guidance. He created the space and time just to be in prayer and communication with God. He sought that time with God to fill, replenish and rejuvenate His mind, body and soul – all to step back into His role and pour out Himself to those around Him.
You cannot pour into others until you are a filled vessel. If you are trying to give and give without receiving, then you are going to be pouring out impatience, anxiety, sarcasm, and lots of other nasty, not-nice qualities.
Go get your Bible. Open it up and pick a place to start. I recently started First Corinthians. Take some deep breaths. Ask God to show you something from the pages. Then pray over yourself and your husband, family, friends and anyone else you have had contact with who seemed like they needed some prayer.
Fill up first…then pour forth!
Blessings in your Blending!”
Interested in One-On-One “Coaching and Coffee?” I would LOVE to connect with you, and help with your blended family journey! For those in the Abilene, TX area, I am happy to meet with you in person; for others, we can do these sessions via Skype, FaceTime, or Facebook Messenger … whichever works best for you! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for rates and more information!
(Women’s author, speaker and mentor Kristie Carpenter, aka The Blended Family Mom, has been a blended family/step mom since 2004; her blended family currently includes four children and four grandchildren. Follow Kristie on Facebook (facebook.com/theblendedfamilymom), Twitter (twitter.com/blendedfamilym), and Instagram (instagram.com/theblendedfamilymom/). Her books – “The Blended Family Mom,” and “Blended Mom Moments,” are both available on her website at theblendedfamilymom.com)
The Blended Family Mom
I’m an only child. I grew up with a lot of silence and space. Now, as an adult, I CRAVE silence and space. I get cranky when there’s too much noise. I don’t need lots of friends. I don’t have the desire to be in large crowds. I’m honestly very comfortable in my own skin, in my own surroundings.
Today has been a perfect opportunity to have silence and space. I think it’s been well over a year since I’ve had the house to myself for a large expanse of the day. Steve and Keegan are at a Colts/Titans game in Tennessee this evening. I teach with VIP KID and did not want to cancel any classes. I told them to have some great father-son time and make some good memories!
What do I do when I have those quiet but blessed moments of solitude?
- I love uninterrupted reading time. When I’m not working on writing my own devotional, I read. I am reading about four books at the same time. I am devouring Rachel Hollis’ “Girl, Wash Your Face”, I’m reading “God Speed – Steering Through Triumph and Tragedy” by Chad Bonham for the third time, and I’m reading Dr. Lofas’ “Stepparenting: Everything You Need To Know to Make It Work”. I love her books, and they help me with material for my social media work for the Stepfamily Foundation. I LOVE books about self-improvement. There’s always room for inspiration and growth! I also read the Bible. I’ve finished the Books of Genesis and Job in my quest to complete the Bible in a year.
- I write. Two jobs, being a wife and mother, keeping up with a busy home, and traveling afford little time to keep up with my blog like I want to. When I get that random quiet day or block of hours, I work on my stepfamily devotional, I blog, or I write my dear friend Jane. Everyone needs a Jane, a trusted same-sex confidant.
- I nap. Yes, I admit that. I have asthma and get tired easy. I make no apologies for that. Sometimes that blessed hour of deep sleeps totally recharges my mood, my thought processes for work and writing, and…my skin. I always have a healthy glow after a good slumber.
- I do housework. I’m not ashamed to admit that, either. I love a clean house. It really makes me feel refreshed and centered when I can see a clean kitchen and family room at the start (and throughout) the day. Just speaking for myself, it makes me feel accomplished even if the work day has been ho-hum.
- I exercise. There’s something so therapeutic about putting on my headphones and blasting some classic grunge (I’m a 90’s girl) or some old school Metallica.
- Last but never, ever least – I miss my man and our little family. Steve is my best friend in this whole world. I miss my husband. It’s good to miss someone. It shows they occupy a very important place in your heart.
Solitude makes me temporarily happy, but seeing my boys walk through the door at 5 am tomorrow morning will make this lady very grateful indeed. 🙂