“I put off a lot of things when the kids were all here under one roof. I focused on who needed to be where at what time. I facilitated family night. I felt mostly like hiding.
I was so busy functioning just to survive that I forgot about myself. How about you? Are so fiercely trying to keep your head above water that you have forfeited being freshened?
As busy are you are; as frantic as your family seems to be, you have to create the space for firm boundaries so you can form a thought from time to time.
Jesus stole away to seek the Father’s guidance. He created the space and time just to be in prayer and communication with God. He sought that time with God to fill, replenish and rejuvenate His mind, body and soul – all to step back into His role and pour out Himself to those around Him.
You cannot pour into others until you are a filled vessel. If you are trying to give and give without receiving, then you are going to be pouring out impatience, anxiety, sarcasm, and lots of other nasty, not-nice qualities.
Go get your Bible. Open it up and pick a place to start. I recently started First Corinthians. Take some deep breaths. Ask God to show you something from the pages. Then pray over yourself and your husband, family, friends and anyone else you have had contact with who seemed like they needed some prayer.
Fill up first…then pour forth!
Blessings in your Blending!”
Interested in One-On-One “Coaching and Coffee?” I would LOVE to connect with you, and help with your blended family journey! For those in the Abilene, TX area, I am happy to meet with you in person; for others, we can do these sessions via Skype, FaceTime, or Facebook Messenger … whichever works best for you! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for rates and more information!
(Women’s author, speaker and mentor Kristie Carpenter, aka The Blended Family Mom, has been a blended family/step mom since 2004; her blended family currently includes four children and four grandchildren. Follow Kristie on Facebook (facebook.com/theblendedfamilymom), Twitter (twitter.com/blendedfamilym), and Instagram (instagram.com/theblendedfamilymom/). Her books – “The Blended Family Mom,” and “Blended Mom Moments,” are both available on her website at theblendedfamilymom.com)
The Blended Family Mom
I have put this blog post off for a long time. I feel gutsy today and I’m on my third cup of coffee. Watch out! lol! I’ve also been up for many hours while the world is starting to stir this holiday morning.
I’m going to dive right in with my bullet point thoughts. These are the reasons why I loathe Facebook.
- Facebook is fake. I’m not going to go as far to say that those who consistently post filtered fabrications of life on Facebook are fake, but if the shoe fits….
- Facebook is full of fake rage. I recently saw a comment to a friend of mine that would qualify as “bullying” according to many of you. It alluded that a certain demographic of people are the devil and if you have experienced any personal success in life you should be burned alive. (The aggressor appeared to have “nice” things. I was really confused.) If any of you talked to me that way, I’d never speak to you again much less have you in my “friend” list. I later found out that the aggressor never would have the STONES to pick up the phone and say this garbage, and DEFINITELY didn’t have the moxie to speak such hate in person. She, instead, hid behind Facebook and spewed hatred from a keyboard. Bless her heart.
- Facebook is full of fake happiness. A few years ago I saw a picture pop up in my newsfeed of a seemingly happy friend and her two children. She was smiling, they were smiling. Flower-filter applied. She said they were her “world”. She shot herself the next day.
- Facebook is full of bloviating and staged carnival-type glee. There are some who cry “poor mouth” during the work week but post pictures of bar-hopping and extravagance on the weekend. If you are going to complain publicly about how you can’t fix anything in your house because you don’t have two dimes to rub together, don’t expect sympathy from others when your nightly club lifestyle check-ins tell a different story. Get your life together.
- Facebook is a clever tool of the parental alienator. An alienating non co-parenter is quick to rattle off paragraphs about their love and devotion to their children. I’ve seen the “real” story, and it’s nothing like the sugary sweet dissertations. When the alienating parent does pick up the phone, it’s to talk incessantly about his/her OWN world while closing the ears and mind to the life of the child. God forbid the child mention any joy or fun being had at the home of the targeted parent/stepparent. If the child posts a picture of the targeted parent or stepfamily, there’s usually hell to pay.
- Then there’s the “we’re getting divorced but let’s make the world think we have a perfect life” couple. Candy and flowers, abundance of material accumulation (A.K.A. a mountain of debt), and “my moopy shmoopy cuddle lumps” is the best husband/dad/wife/mom/ of all time”. Seriously, you are sickening. All relationships have trials, and that’s when I’m DEFINITELY not posting on social media. I’m using that time to invest in my marriage.
- Facebook CAN BE used for good. I love to read the touching and real posts about overcoming a burden or a struggle. Some people in my feed really touch the soul with uplifting experiences. Others are snoozed and unfollowed on a regular basis when the Snapchat bunny filter is applied during a drunken escapade.
Back to keeping life in full focus AND unfiltered.