The Ex-Spouse

It’s Complicated

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“Lynnette, can I have a hug?”

As I was sitting in the kitchen glow of early morning light, my stepson quietly comes downstairs, tears rolling down his cheeks.  His sweet brown eyes were a fog of sadness and sorrow.  He had just received a call from his mom that his Grandma (her mom) had passed away.

His Grandma (Patricia)  was 82 years old and lived a wonderful, storied life.  She was an accomplished wife to an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, a mother of four, grandmother and great-grandmother, a successful business woman, and according to Keegan baked the best pies and cookies he’d ever tasted.

I sat with him for a couple hours before I woke up my husband, Steve (Keegan’s dad.)  Steve understood, and he was glad Keegan and I had that precious time together.  I listened to stories about his Grandma Pat meeting the Queen of England, her famous apple pie, her fun Christmas Bag of gifts for each grandchild, and her caring heart.

Stepfamilies are complicated though.  I want to reach out to Keegan’s Mom and tell her I’m sorry to hear about her mom passing.  A woman losing her mother, her great teacher and first best friend on this earth, is a depth of pain that stands alone.  I felt sad for her today, but all I can do is pray for her to feel peace in the coming days.  No words said by us will be received with kindness.  My husband’s mom was the first of the parents to pass, so she set the precedent.  Although we were told there was “sadness” about the passing, it wasn’t acknowledge in a card, flowers, etc.  It’s just the way things are going to be I guess.

I CAN show my respects by continuing to show sympathy and understanding to Keegan.  He is the precious point that connects all of us.

Rest In Peace to Pat.  She definitely played a major part in raising my wonderful stepson.

Promise of God's Protection

Where Do You Linger?

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Jesus Christ teaches us that discontent comes when we linger on the affairs of men, BUT contentment comes when we linger on the goodness of GOD.

Psalm 73:3-7 more specifically states: “For I was envious of the boastful when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.  For there are no pangs in their death, but their strength is firm.  They are not in trouble as other men, nor are they plagued like other men.  Therefore pride serves as their necklace; violence covers them like a garment.  Their eyes bulge with abundance; they have more than heart could wish.”

The chapter ends with verses 25-26 with a powerful promise from the Lord though.  Let these words really sink into your heart.  “Whom have I in heaven BUT YOU? And there is NONE upon earth that I desire besides You.  My flesh and my heart fail; BUT GOD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY HEART AND MY PORTION FOREVER.”

We can get so caught up in the injustices slain upon us by mortal man.  We linger on the hurt and let it leave deep scars, scars that still bleed fresh blood because we pick at them.  We wallow in the pain almost like a drug.  We point our finger at our enemy and say, “You did this to me.”

Jesus could have been that way about humanity.  He could have lashed out at the world as he experienced the most unimaginable pain any flesh has or EVER will experience.

Instead, he begged God to forgive the sinner.  Even in the depths of anguish he refused to blame the sinner, the sure cause of His sacrifice.

In his greatest suffering, he lingered on the goodness of God.

As you go about your day today, Raise Your Gaze.

Linger in the promise of goodness prevailing because of a merciful Savior.  Linger and bask in His warmth and light.

Lingering on things above keeps our eyes on Him and not on the world.  

God Bless you all and know that you are LOVED.




I Deserve A Parking Ticket

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I am super grateful today.  I feel God moving in my life more and more each day.  He’s firing up the parked ignition of my soul and moving it to great places.  Sometimes I feel like we are moving at 100 m.p.h., but in the recent past I felt “stuck” in a quagmire of an unfulfilling to-do list.


My most favorite journey (besides my daily walk with the Lord) is being a wife.  Steve and I have been together for nearly 17 years, and MY GOODNESS what a storied trail of joy, tears, love, hope, travels, homes, change, and renewal the years have been!  I KNEW the moment I met him he was going to be someone special in my life, but I never imagined how wonderful God’s plan was going to be.

Being a stepmom to Keegan is my next favorite path of life.  I might be odd, but I LOVED the teen years and I know I’m going to enjoy the exciting decade of his 20’s just as much.  Yes, I am a parent to him, but YES we are entering into another fantastic era as well.  I don’t believe we should be friends with our children, but the adult years provide more depth and understanding.

God has opened the gate to some more paths for me to traverse throughout my day and possibly for the rest of my working life.  The only obstacle is…me.

I don’t like change.  When it finds me, I want to run straight back to cozy blue and floral baby blanket.

My comfy home routine is shaken up with caring for aging parents once a month, 500 miles away.  My predictable daily schedule of coupon cutting and playing with my dogs is now a running list of book writing, church activities, Bible study groups, studying to be a stepfamily counselor, researching the characteristics of PAS for future clients, maintaining a growing social media, helping with the communications for a wonderful faith-based race team, and trying to read the Bible in its entirety (along with about three other books at the same time.)

But change is refreshing and exhilarating!  I wake up to greet the day with a child’s wonder. 

I didn’t realize I missed human interaction while I’ve been out of the workplace. I didn’t realize I had so many unused and untapped talents.

I forgot how good it feels to be needed.

My dear blog friends, I pray you feel needed today, too.  I pray that you know how important your life is to someone.  I pray that you keep finding yourself, keep discovering new talents, and pray that you ask God to just keep moving that parked car broke down on Stuck Street.